Peace on earth, goodwill to all men

Christ is born in Bethlehem

But think of the man, who marries two wives

He’s in a pickle, when Christmas arrives

Once there was a time, everything was fine

A wife and two kids, though I’ve found

That life is to live, I got so much to give

But there ain’t enough of me to go round, and round, and round, and round

Bigamy at Christmas, what am I to do?

Spend it with the family, I can’t, I’ve got two

Bigamy at Christmas, I’m in a jam

Turkey with Emily, or pudding with Pam

A puppy for Jean, a doll for Maxine

Nintendos for Pablo and Steve

A Christmas shopping list, for a bigamist

Is a very, very, very long one indeed

Bigamy at Christmas, what am I to do?

Spend it with the family, I can’t I’ve got two

Bigamy at Christmas, I’ll tell you the truth

I also married Natalie, Suzanne, Jill and Ruth

(I joke, of course)

Bigamy at Christmas, what am I to do?

Spend it with the family, I can’t, I’ve got two

Bigamy at Christmas, what am I to do?

Spend it with the family, I can’t, I’ve got two

Bigamy at Christmas, what am I to do?

Spend it with the family, I can’t, I’ve got two

Remember that bigamy is illegal

Merry Christmas