In the beginning, there was Steam, and it filled the skies. The Hoon looked down at the Steam, and he was pleased, but he needed something to compliment the Steam, to show it in its best light. And so the Hoon created a great big Pie. The Steam enveloped the Pie in its cloudy haze, and the Hoon was once more pleased.

After many eons, the Hoon became bored with the simplicity of the Steam & the Pie. He yearned for something more. And so he created Hoons in his image, to play on the Pie’s surface. He warned the Hoons never to eat from the Pie, and the hoons listened.

Many more eons passed, and the hoons became bored with their simple lives. So they called to the Hoon, and he came to listen to them. The hoons asked for something more, something to compliment them as the Pie compliments the Steam. And so the Hoon took a liver from each hoon and he created hoonettes. The hoons were pleased with what they saw, and so the Hoon was pleased also.

Some eons passed by, and the hoons & hoonettes found they were in pain. They called to the Hoon and asked him why they felt such pain. The hoon was unsure, so he thought for many years.

When he had completed his thinking, the Hoon called the hoons & hoonettes to him, and he said he knew why they felt such pain. The hoons & hoonettes listened intently, as the Hoon explained it was the Steam causing them pain. He explained that before the arrival of the hoonettes, the two livers found in every hoon was sufficient to live in an atmosphere of pure Steam. The hoons & hoonettes looked worried, and asked the Hoon what he could do to stop the pain. Again the hoon was unsure, so he thought for many years.

When he had completed his thinking, the Hoon called the hoons & hoonettes to him, and he said he had a plan. He told the hoons & hoonettes that he would take the Steam from the skies, and put its goodness into the Pie. The hoons were worried. Without the Steam, what would fill the skies? But the Hoon re-assured them, and said he would fill the skies with Banter. This pleased the hoons greatly, and there was much rejoicing.

More eons passed by, and the hoonettes found they were unfulfilled in their world of Banter. The hoonettes talked to the hoons, but the hoons were too busy with the Banter to listen to the hoonettes, and so the hoonettes talked amongst themselves. After some time, the hoonettes decided they would try to make their lives more fulfilling by eating the Pie. And so they did.

The Hoon returned. He was furious at the hoonettes for eating the Pie, and so he told the hoonettes they would be punished by growing fat if they ate too much of the Pie. The hoon was also unhappy with the hoons, and told them they should have listened to the hoonettes. He told the hoons that they too would be punished, for every time the hoonettes spoke to them, it would sound like moaning. The hoons & hoonettes were unhappy, but they accepted their punishment.

After more eons, it came to pass that the hoons would sit and Banter, and the hoonettes would sit & eat Pie. The Hoon returned and said to the hoons & the hoonettes that they had served their punishments well. He explained that although he was unable to stop the hoonettes getting fat, or to stop the hoons hearing moaning, he would give them both something to make their lives more fulfilled. And so the Hoon created the Flagon. He explained to the hoons & the hoonettes that he had taken the Steam from the Pie, and had placed it into the Flagon. The hoon further told them that by feasting on the Pie and drinking from the Flagon, they would be able to experience quality time together. The hoons were pleased. The hoonettes were pleased. And most of all, the Hoon was pleased.

Squirrel