'Twas the next morn still filled with the horn

Dreaming that he was inside her

The Berry awoke to find a Hoonish bloke

Passing him a can of cider

And their drinking game was never the same

When the Hoonerer entered the fray

For he did declare that each of them there

Would be steamed on that fine day

So there they did sit and got full of it

`Till the Hoonster came up with a plan

"We'll all chip off to get full of the scoff,

`Cause I'm gagging for some scram"

Full of flagon they jumped on the wagon

Filled with a ton of the speed,

But the Hoonerer was thinkin', 'bout what they'd be drinkin'

Wanting to get them all steamed.

"The Hoonster can drive, TJ by his side

Us three will drink in the back,

And I'll wager I'm bent if the glove compartment

Isn't filled with the Frosty Jack."

Taking a can the game soon began

As he took a gulp of the piss.

"He who does speak so much as a peep

Must also get full of this."

"And should any pass the flagonised flask

Without taking a sip

The drinking offence will be deemed immense

He must drink quite a bit".

Before very long they were roaring a song

Each a pissed as a fart

When the last can lay empty they'd drunk plenty

Squirrel halted the cart

Arrived at the pub and wanting some grub

They all fired in through the door

But to their dismay the landlord did say

"We're not serving food anymore".

Getting it right they stayed for a pint

Then 'twas back to the car

Filled with the pace they came by a place

Serving good food with a bar

Now the hoons here can boast their glorious roast

The best they've ever had

For the steamish Berry drunkenly merry

Paid for it all on his tab

After the feed the hoons all agreed

The Union for a wee dram

But scheming away the Berry turned gay

And plotted a little scam

Back at his house they spotted his rouse

He wanted another feed

Weak from the drinking without proper thinking

Berry'd succumbed to the greed

Setting their trap for the Berry kidnap

They bundled him into the car

Full of the speed their coup did succeed

They arrived at the union bar

Following his passion as had become fashion

The first round was ordered by Mike

But all stood aghast when they heard what he asked

"Barman, three pints of Snakebite"!

'Twas the hoons intention for that evening session

Them each to be out of their face

And it makes me glad to be able to add

No hoon fell from the pace

The Berry reborn (not gay anymore)

Played drinking games into the night

And the hoonerer's inclin' for downing his drinking

Saw him through many a pint

When the hoons were all drunk the last bevy sunk

They let out a hearty cheer

For each of them knew and I'm telling you

`T'been the most hoonish day of the year

Back at the cart the hoons they did part

And here our story does end

But I assure you of this you'll be oft' drinking piss

When you have the hoons for your friends