Twas 12 O’ Clock one sunny morn

The hoons were filled with dread

All were feeling rough of gut

And heavy of the head

The judges came to lay the law

And throw the gauntlet down

"The mission today is fancy dress.

Who wants to be a clown?"

Monkey boy passed out the props

The wigs and hats alike

And then produced from his black sack

A box of colours bright

"Jo, Luce and Berryman,

You’ve all got stupid hats"

"Chloe, you’re a pirate.

Giles, you’ll look a twat"

Maccers sports a ginger wig

Seems like no change to me

Tash has hair in pigtails

Then it comes to me

My mission for the day in hand

Involved a curly straw

And all that pass between my lips

Must pass through that before

Whilst looking down the categories

On the latest card

I thought I’d leave the downing pints

And sucking pies could be quite hard

Fridh was given face paints

Ziggy Stardust did return

He seemed TOO keen on make-up though

And enquired about a perm

Tracy was a chinaman

But refused to complete her task

To go into a takeaway

"Flied Lice" then she must ask

Steve became a captain

Stu as a simpleton did revel

Then remained our judges

Monkey Boy and the Devil

Then was produced a purple shirt

A vision in velvet velour

Matthew, you’re medallion man

Quite why though we’re not sure

Rich had to look like a slob

A backward one at that

With one of the Devil’s shirts on

The exchange just seemed quite apt

It wasn’t finished there though

For he had more to come

His shorts pulled high, around his chest

And three legged, he and Matt must run

The Hoons thus ventured from the house

All feeling slightly bizarre

But steam soon flowed and faces soon glowed

At the Waterfront seaside bar

Gem

25/08/01