This tale of hoon begins in Devon. The Hoons have found a spiritual Haven, where the flagon runs deep and the pie is wide. Suffering a week of excessive steam, Mike "The Hoon" McNama found that, in his absence, he could trust his e-steamed fellows to step into more than his shoes.

During the week, The Hoons came across a bevy of young beauties. Despite enduring flagonisation, and constant abuse from Matt "The Hoonerer" Look, the fillies were unable to resist the attraction of the e-steamed fellows.

The filly named Emma, known forever more simply as The Welly, was fairly infatuated with The Hoon. So much was her crazed desire, she did wander about the lodge, telling all and sundry of her wanton lust for The Hoon, proclaiming "I'm absolutely gagging for It!". Unwittingly, she did rendezvous with The Hoonster.

It was now that The Hoonster played his cards. Although he hardly held a biddable hand, they were of ample value for this particular rubber, and besides, he fancied an attempted slam. Finding himself in bed with not only The Welly, but also Auntie Elaine and The Hoonerer, The Hoonster didst turn to she of much Welliness and say,

"Mikes not here, but I'm his best mate..."

The Welly was convinced by The Hoonster's well reasoned advances, and soon set about the e-steamed fellow with much of the pre-coital fumblings.

And so it came to pass that The Hoonster took full advantage of the absence of The Hoon. Rest assured he did the e-steamed fellows proud, inducing much of the orgasmic pleasure for The Welly, whilst still having time to give The Hoonerer a few swift punches in the ribs.

Team Hoon scores again!

Squirrel, 1997