Jedi Knight O'Berryman K'Nobby and his new apprentice Looke Shitetalker look at Southampton sprawled out before them.

O'Berryman "Never have I seen a more wretched hive of scum and steamery"

Looke enters a pub and orders a Blackthorn...

Pike: I don't like you.
Looke downs his pint.
Pike: My friend can out drink you.
Looke orders another pint.
Pike: You'll be steamed!

O'Berryman walks up to the bar and gestures at the freshly poured pint of Blackthorn.
O'Berryman: This little one's not worth the trouble. Bartender, a yard of Cider.

....A mass drinking session ensues and the pikes are left wanting.

O'Berryman: Chewmaccers here is best mate of a guy who knows a pub that might suit us.
Chewmaccers: Aaaarrgghhhhh!
They are introduced to Han Squirrolo a seasoned steam pirate.
O'Berryman: I hear you know of a pub.
Squirrolo: Who's Askin?
O'Berryman: Does it have fast women?
Squirrolo: Fast enough for you old man.
O'Berryman: How much are the pints?
Squirrolo: Three pounds.
Looke: We don't have to listen to this. We could buy our own flagons for that kind of money!
Squirrolo: Yeah, but who's gonna down em. You?
Looke: You bet! I'm not such a bad steamer.
O'Berryman: We'll pay two pounds now, and another five when were steaming.
Squirrolo: Seven pounds hey. OK, you boys have got yourself a pub.

O'Berryman and Looke walk back to the bar - one for the road.
Squirrolo: Seven pounds a pint. These guys must be really desperate.
Chewmaccers: Aaarrgghhhh!

The Devil

24/10/2000